Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage, Which One is Happier?
What do you prefer the most? Love marriage or arranged marriage? Marriage is like a lifelong commitment. You cannot just put it in some option. Although we know our God has created us in a pair, our partners were chosen by our creator long before even we were born. Also, everyone has so many desires and dreams regarding marriage.
Arrange marriage is when two unknown families meet together, visit each other's houses, and fix a marriage between their boy and girl. Though these days, love marriages seem to be popular in Bangladesh. Bengali young boys and girls get in a relationship and then marry the person they love. But here's a controversy on which marriage is happier? Let's talk about that.
Why Love Marriage
There was a time when a boy or a girl married what their family decided for them. But the wind has changed. The majority of the young generation is getting married to the person they love. There are a few basic logics why people are turning to love marriage.
The base of a relationship is trust. When people are in a relationship, they have enough time to build trust before getting married. Spending time together, helping each other through the hard times, lifting each other is essential to building trust. It's important to know your partner, their likes or dislikes and their thoughts.
While in an arranged marriage, couples get less time to know each other. Often their relationship collides with the past they had. This thing barely happens in a love marriage as the couple gets enough time to know each other before the wedding.
Mistakes & Weakness
We human beings are not perfect. We make mistakes and have a weakness. So to say in love marriage A couple gets more time to understand each other. So it becomes easier to speak from the heart. As a result, the problem gets easier to solve quickly. While in an arranged marriage, couples get time after marriage. So it gets a bit tougher to cope up these situations. Women are always shy to ask for anything they need from their husbands. In a love marriage, couples can speak up from their heart compared to an arranged marriage.
Things to consider after marriage
It takes a lot of time to know the in-laws' family and cope with them. Naturally, the situation becomes tough to handle and by this time, husband and wife get less time to spend and know each other. On the other hand, as the couple knew each other before marriage, they understand the situation, which becomes a bonus for the wife.
The couple gets enough time to handle the aftermath situation of the marriage.
Things to know in love marriage
*In a love marriage, the boy and girl usually belong to different backgrounds, customs, norms, or cultures. They should accept each other's family as they are.
*Husband and wife should take care of each other's family members; try to manage every situation together. There will be tough times and more rigid to handle, but no one of the couples should step back anyway. Patience is the main essence. You have to keep in mind that life before and after a marriage has a lot of differences.
* Couples should understand each other's culture and customs. But never forget your root. Moreover, people will say stupid kinds of stuff. Just avoid them. In our society, people cannot take love marriage easily.
Perks of Arrange Marriage
There are chances that you might find your perfect match in an arranged marriage. Let's know the perks of arranged marriage.
Acceptance of family & Society
Generally, parents know their children's tastes. So when they choose a life partner for their son/daughter, it becomes the perfect choice. So the parents of the bride and groom decide after knowing everything well. Both of the families develop a healthy relationship with this marriage. They share happiness, problems and demanding situations with each other. So it becomes easier for the bride and groom to accept each other quickly. Arranged marriage is more fruitful than love.
Arrange marriage is long-lasting
In an arranged marriage, the bride and groom get to know each other after marriage. So they get time after the wedding to spend time. It becomes interesting to know each other every day. It feels like to know your partner in a new shape. It gives both of the people to start afresh. That is why arranged marriage is a long-term commitment and long-lasting indeed.
There are reasons why arranged marriage is long lasting because, in love marriage, couples' expectations are more extensive. So when expectations could not reach falls apart. A couple has known each other for a long time; as a result, if things go wrong, they do not understand what is wrong! Then they become unwilling to compromise. Problems start like this in a love marriage. On the contrary, arranged marriage get it in a long direction.
Things to avoid in arrange marriage
Always take these tips with you if you are doing an arranged marriage.
*Never speak of your past with your spouse initially as it might turn into a wrong decision. Explain what you want from your marriage, your dreams, etc., even if you want a grand wedding or simple one.
*It is essential to discuss with your partner about your family planning before marriage. Never say that you do not want to live with your in-laws. He might not like your idea. Sometimes it is mandatory to compromise to save your relationship or marriage.
*If you have any bad habits, for example, if you smoke, just let your partner know and ask for their vision. But it is better not to ask for the very personal stuffs at the first meet-up as it does not look good.
Always remember there will be ups and downs in relationships. There will be conflict, whether it is a love marriage or arranged marriage. But one has to speak up in soft tone and try to manage the situation sometimes. Marital disputes should not be regular, and keep it between you. Never go to sleep without solving the conflict. Keep patience and give yourself some time. Once you understand your partner, the love grows with it. Whatever you do, always respect your partner.
Nothing is perfect, not even a love marriage or arranged marriage. Every marriage has its good and bad sides. Success in marriage depends on both the husband and wife. If you do not try, you cannot be happy in any relationship. Respect, love, loyalty, care, and commitment are significant to a successful marriage. Understanding and compromise of the couple can bring you a happy married life.
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